Hearts Turned Toward Home: Erin's Story

The following is a guest post from Erin at A Full Heart and is the first installment of Hearts Turned Towards Home. If you are interested in sharing your story of how God turned your heart toward home, please click here.

Thank you, Brianna, for asking me to do a guest post, and CONGRATULATIONS! on your 3rd blessing! I hope you are enjoying your "babymoon" and loving your new little man!

Getting ready for this post took some pondering and looking back to when and how I became so passionate about being a Homemaker - it certainly was a process, and one that took quite a few years! Here's my story.

When I first became a mother, I left my job to stay at home. It was something my husband and I felt was the "right" thing to do - afterall, why bring life into the world just to leave it in someone else's hands to care for? We felt strongly about that, but I wouldn't say it was exactly a conviction from the Lord. I didn't even really consider what God's thoughts about motherhood were (I was still rather a "baby" Christian myself)!

After a few years and another baby, staying at home with 2 under 3 didn't seem to be as... fulfilling... as I heard it was supposed to be. I hated housecleaning, and I hated having my time taken up by everyone else. Sure, I loved my kids, I loved my husband... but what about me?!

In my teenage years I was an avid horseback rider, I thought perhaps I could find my fulfillment in that again. I tried taking lessons, but the schedule never fit in to when my husband could be home to take care of the little ones, which lead to more frustration. I cried to my husband about how I need more, something to "find myself" in. Oh, how I had bought into the enemy's lies of "its all about me" feminism! But the Lord was patient, and faithful (as He always is!)

Over the years, I continued to wrestle with my attitude. I was discontent, and it seemed like everywhere I turned, I was hearing "fulfill yourself - no matter what the cost to your kids" - even from within the church! I was tormented, as my flesh so desperately desired it, yet something warred within my spirit. I felt as if I couldn't get peace anywhere - so I finally turned to the Source of Peace Himself. I don't know why it took so long for me to even consider what the Lord had to say about it, but once I did, I was amazed at what I discovered! I read Titus 2:3-5, of course, and 1 Timothy 5:14, Proverbs 31, Proverbs 14:1, as well as Deuteronomy 6. It was as if I'd never seen these verses before, they were suddenly so real to me!

One thing that majorly jumped out at me were the warnings that followed many of the verses - I realized that forsaking my role at home (even in attitude!) brought dishonor to the Word of God, allowed the enemy room to be reproachful, as well as tore down the relationships within my home! Yikes! His Word also showed me how God created the home to be a place of ministry for women! I had no need to look for an "outside" ministry - I had one right under my roof - to my children, my husband, the lost, and brothers and sisters in Christ!

Then I saw the example of Jesus himself - how he came to serve, not to be served, and how, to model his likeness, I too must have the heart of a servant - not one of serving myself! I cried out to the Lord and asked His forgiveness for my gross selfishness, and asked Him to help me have the right attitudes. A change happened then and there! The verse that comes to mind when I think of what He did for me is:

He makes the barren woman abide in the house
As a joyful mother of children.
Praise the LORD!
Psalm 113:9

Now, with 5 sons ages 8 and under, no one would consider me "barren" in the literal sense - but my heart was barren, empty of the love God would have me pour out in my home. However, He restored my heart, through His love, so that I can overflow and be a joyfully content mother, wife, and keeper at home - walking in His perfect calling.

Once I turned my heart toward God, it was He who turned my heart toward home!

Erin Robinson has been married 10.5 years to Michael, and they are the blessed parents of 5 boys, ages 8, 6, 4, 2, and 3 months. Erin blogs at A Full Heart - her blog is a blend of insights into the life of a busy and growing homeschooling family, as well as Godly encouragement to women!