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2009-06-24

What Crisis Management Mode Actually Looks Like

Pool Entrance
Image by Hamed Saber

Um. It's not pretty. (Unlike the lovely picture I've chosen for this post. I think I'm wishing I were there sometimes.)

I've been talking about crisis management mode here and here. And I'm definitely right in the middle of it. My baby isn't even here yet, but it is taking everything I've got just to get through the day. I'm waking many nights not being able to return to sleep. So, I'm very fatigued. Very.

A dear friend told me that perhaps even my last list was a little too ambitious. She told me to focus on "getting dressed and feeding and watering my family". Yes. I think she was right. As I have energy, I'm looking to other things as well, but I really don't have much energy.

So, right now, the house is often littered with random things. We've eaten eggs for dinner more times than I care to count. Laundry is in a little behind and what is clean is still in baskets. My husband is doing lots of dishes, and the meals we've had that weren't eggs, he prepared on the grill. (Bless that man.)

And blogging?

Ha!

That's about all I have to say about that.

To be honest, this has been really hard for me. I felt irresponsible and as though I were letting "someone" down. You know, the hordes of you who are tromping over here every day waiting with bated breath to read what I've written.

But I've come to realize (a bit painfully) that I may need to really step back from blogging even more than I had intentioned to when I anticipated baby coming. I don't plan to stop altogether. I love to write and I love to share what God has been teaching me. But this blog simply doesn't make the cut when it comes to my biggest priorities.

And that's OK.

Wow. What a burden lifted.

I am forever imposing burdens on myself that just don't need to be there. Doing things with a false sense of urgency.

When everything else falls away, there will be so little that really, really, really matters. And I want to focus on, and enjoy, what really matters.

I sincerely hope that those of you who stop by will continue to do so once in a while. Even if it means that there is a serious decline in fresh content. Of course, you could subscribe and then you wouldn't have to keep checking and you'd never miss a single captivating post. Hint, hint. Poke, poke.

But even if some of you move on to greener pastures and never visit again...that's OK. Can you tell I'm talking to myself?

Lord, thank you for the gift of family. For the blessings of children. Thank you for the opportunity of this season of life. Of nurturing, loving and teaching my little ones. May I never miss the "moments" that matter as I'm caught up in something far less important.

4 comments:

Erin said...

Amen, Brianna! I know exactly what you mean about self-imposed expectations and burdens. Right now you just love your men, grow that baby, and rest!!

Audra said...

What a great decision--full of heart and spine! Do the best you can, and that's all you can do!

Brianna @ Heart(h) Management said...

Thanks so much for the encouragement girls! :)

christinnjon said...

Don't you worry! When you write, I'll be reading - even if I don't always comment. (I'm subscribed). You take care of business and don't feel one bit guilty about doing it!

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