The Baby Plan

Image by leezie5

I'm about to have a baby.

I. Am. About. To. Have. A. Baby!

Ahhhhhhh!!

Deep breaths, deep breaths...

OK, in case you can't tell from recent posts, I've been feeling a little overwhelmed of late. I'm fatigued and emotional. I feel awkward and...heavy. My brain has a serious case of fogginess it seems--probably due to fatigue.

I've been trying to take good care of myself by eating relatively well, drinking lots of water, taking my Floradix, etc. But my daily walks have fallen by the wayside and my much, much needed time with the Lord has gotten pretty lax. Sleeping in will do that to you.

So, I'm feeling the need to put a plan--a concrete plan--down on paper. I've had a few plans throughout my pregnancy, but I'm feeling the need to simplify and change it up even more. I want to have a plan for these last few weeks leading up to birth time, and a basic plan in place for afterward as well.

My To-Do List:
Declutter and organize house
Clean, insure and move carseats to Buick (a bigger car to fit all five of us!)
Stock pantry and toiletry cupboards
Redecorating
Get all old pictures organized and made into photobooks
Sell items on Ebay and Amazon
Labor plan for little boys
Organize boys' clothing
Wash baby's diapers and clothes
Paint hallway (This is getting knocked off since Keith says there's just no way we can do this right now. Whew.)
Stock freezer with baked goods and dinner meals
Have garage sale (And this is getting knocked off because I'm seeing the light. Who was I kidding?)
Pack bags for me and for boys
Write series posts ahead of time

My Pre-Baby "Crisis Management" Plan

1. Sticking with the basics every day.
I do need to keep on top of some simple things like my menu plan, making very simple dinners, completing at least one load of laundry a day, a quick tidy, and doing the dishes. I've learned the hard way that letting these items get out of control is disastrous for me. These are my "sinks".

2. Making time with the Lord a priority.
Instead of saying, "Oh, I don't have time for this right now!" I need to say, "I'm so tired and overwhelmed, I must find time to spend with the Lord!" It's really my greatest need right now.

3. Mini-tasking the bigger items on my to-do list.
Some of the things on my to-do list might not get done, but I've got my to-do list tasks spread out and broken down into smaller items if necessary. This way I don't feel so overwhelmed. This approach actually helped me finally get my digital pictures organized and put into photo books. I've had this job sitting on my to-do list since my first son was born. He's four and a half now!

4. Calling in reinforcements.
I just might be calling in some young girls from church who can play with the boys for a day while I finish up some of my cooking and baking.

5. Giving myself grace.
I'm trying to do this, though not always very well. I have a bit of a driven nature, so it's hard for me to allow myself to not be "up to par".

6. Loving my family well.
It's really easy for me to be snappy in my fatigue and discouragement. But the one thing that really matters most right now is for me to love well. For my children to feel secure and loved--even if our house isn't always in the condition I like it to be. For my husband to have a smile in his direction instead of a frown.

My Post-Baby "Crisis Management" Plan

1. Just focus on the basics.
I'm hoping to have lots of food in the pantry and freezer so that I won't have to do very much cooking. But I'll still need to try to do at least a load of laundry every day, keep clean dishes, and do a quick tidy each day. These are things that I know Keith will help me with. (I love you, sweetheart!)

2. Make time with the Lord my biggest priority.
I don't think I've ever taken time to spend with the Lord on a regular basis after the birth of a baby. I was just too tired. But as I just mentioned, when do we need this time most? When we're tired, overwhelmed and discouraged. All things I usually experience after a baby is born. I'd like to be able to say in a couple of months, that even when I did nothing else all day, I found time to rest in the Lord.

3. Call in reinforcements.
My mother-in-law will help me as much as she can, my husband will also do what he can to keep us is in good shape. I may be able to have some young girls come in once in a while to do a quick and basic clean of the house.

4. Doing absolutely nothing that isn't absolutely necessary.
When Caden was born, I got back into the swing of things almost immediately. I thought I felt great! But I crashed soon afterward. I ended up struggling quite a bit with a case of baby blues that lasted longer than it probably should have. When Levi was born, I had learned my lesson. I did my best to follow the above rule, and while I still had some postpartum "downness", it didn't last as long or get as deep as with Caden.

5. Focus on healthy patterns.
Since I'm prone to postpartum depression, I really need to focus on getting adequate sleep, eating nutritious food and getting some activity when it's appropriate.

6. Giving myself grace and loving my family well.
Just as above, it's more important for me to be a source of love and security to my family even if the house is in a bit of chaos for a while. And it's so important to remember that I live under a gracious God! Life will gain a normalcy and pattern once again.

Whew. I feel better having just written down these things that have been floating in my brain. Time to actually put it into practice.

A Peek Inside My Heart: Performance Review Results

Image by Sukanto Debnath

So about that performance review.

Yeah.

So I did it.

And it was indeed both painful and encouraging. Just like I said it would probably be.

Today I'm going to invite you to walk with me through my performance review. A brief summary of it, anyway. Care to come in and have a cup of tea?

I do have a job description written--the tool that makes the performance review possible in the first place. If you'd like to read my job description, you can find it here. Having a job description made it pretty easy to walk through the process. Well, easy in the sense that I had clear direction for evaluation, anyway!

I did ask my husband to join me in the process. To be honest, I think it would have been a little painful and a little encouraging going through this on my own--having my husband be part of the process definitely made both of those feelings more intense. Still, it was incredibly valuable to get his insight and opinion. He can see some things more clearly than I can--both the positive and the negative.

Then we launched into the evaluation questions:

What am I doing well? What are my strengths? Is there a way my strengths could be utilized even better?
This part was easy. We both agreed that our house is a very different place to live in now. It's generally well ordered and peaceful. Laundry, dishes, dinner, etc, are all pretty well taken care of. We have had some "moments" here lately, but Keith pointed out that those are due mostly to our season--I'm at the end of pregnancy, feeling quite fatigued some days, and a little foggy in the memory department.

All in all, I'm doing very well with organizing, planning, and managing. And that says a lot, people!


What area(s) might need more attention? What are my weaknesses? How can these be strengthened?
Girls, this was the painful part. It was completely clear to me what my weakest area was. My children. The part in my job description where it says: "To train, love and nurture my children as God my Father does with me." This was definitely not getting the attention it needed.

Keith and I talked at length about the fact that the boys really need some serious focused attention right now. We have been blessed with the privilege and responsibility of raising one child who is God-designed with a very strong will. I've been feeling the need of late to make teaching, training and loving him and his brother the area that receives my biggest amount of energy and attention.

In fact, I have realized that for at least a season, I am going to need to make everything else in life almost as simple as possible, so that I can spend very, very focused attention on heart issues in my boys.

With the habits, routines, and structures we have in place, I feel that we will be held in good stead, as we scale back to the basics. For me, this is going to mean being an even better manager of my time. I'm going to have to use the time before my boys are up and after they are in bed very wisely. It will mean learning how to better include them in daily chores so that we work on things together, and I can more closely monitor heart attitudes and the actions that stem from those attitudes.

For my sweet little blog (and this is one of the hardest parts for me, I must admit), it will mean scaling back considerably as well. This blog has been so beneficial to me, because as I have written out my thoughts and what God has been graciously been teaching me, it has solidified those things in my heart and mind. It has spurred me on to excellence in many ways. I think it has also been an encouragement to others who have been in my shoes.

But it does take time to write, and my responsibility to train my children in righteousness is far more important eternally. So, for now, I'm going to be scaling back to writing twice a week and also including my Saturday links to share--though, even those posts may have fewer links, since collecting them does take time.

My hope is that with more focused attention on fewer posts, the quality will still be high and Heart(h) Management will continue to serve as an encouragement to others who are in the field of homemaking just like me.

Keith also pointed out that he felt we could use more time together. I heartily agree. I'm writing this ahead of time, but by the time this post publishes, we will have had our very first weekend away alone together since before children. Five years. Five years, people! This also means being more intentional about guarding our evenings together and seeking to get our littles in bed a bit earlier in order to have more time together in the evenings.

Is my job description truly adequate to give me direction, or does it need tweaking?
I'm happy to report that my job description served me well. I think it definitely covers what my priorities should be. It was certainly adequate to help me see the weaknesses that were present.

Is there a tool I could use that would help me significantly in my role?
I told Keith that I really felt like a new digital camera would really help me. I'm not sure he bought it. (Well, I know he didn't buy the camera, but I'm pretty sure even the idea didn't impress him much.)

However, one tool that has been helping me immensely of late is a little Firefox Add-On called TimeTracker. If you struggle with how much time you spend online like me, I highly recommend this little tool. Once you add it on, there will be a little clock in the lower right hand corner of your screen that will show how much time you've spent online that day. It pauses when there isn't any online activity--even if the window is still open--and I've found it to be very accurate. Accurate enough that it definitely motivates me to get off the Internet! And that is certainly saying something. Try it!

Is there a new area I have the time, energy and freedom to branch into learning?
In short, no. As I've already stated, things are going to have to be scaled back--not ramped up--right now. I will, however, be spending my reading time in some good books on loving and training my children well. Here are some on my list: The Shaping of a Christian Family, Hints on Child Training, Don't Make Me Count to Three, The Mission of Motherhood, Heartfelt Discipline, Shepherding a Child's Heart, and The Duties of Parents.

It's a pretty ambitious list, but I've already read several of them, so for some of them, it will be just skimming through a second time to refresh myself.

What is one habit that, if developed, would help me most in my role right now?
There are two habits that I have been working on for about two months now. I've seen some real progress, though I still have a long way to go.
1. Consistent, daily time with the Lord in His Word and in prayer.
2. Limiting my time online--my biggest time waster by far.

Once we had waded through these questions, we moved on to the compensation part. Well, not really. Although, if you're reading this, honey, I really do think a new digital camera would suit me just fine. Our going away weekend together will definitely be a special treat, though. And I think that the rewards I see in my children will also make this process very worthwhile.

So, that's it in a nutshell novel.

I wanted to share all of this for a couple of reasons. First of all, I wanted to keep it real. I wanted you to know that I really do try to actually do the things I write about. Furthermore, that, as my performance review clearly shows, I'm not anywhere near perfect. Secondly, I hoped it would encourage you to do this yourself.

After all, eternity is at stake when it comes to our families. Evaluation. It's still a good thing.

Ask Your Daddy for Something You Need

Image by wili

I mentioned on Tuesday that Keith and I just celebrated our eighth anniversary. Wow. In some ways I can't believe it's been that long, and in some ways, I can't believe any part of my life was lived without him. Know what I mean?

I had really been wishing and hoping that this year for our anniversary, we could get away together. Alone. You know, just the two of us? Without our beloved children.

In fact, we haven't been away together, alone, since we've had children. I was startled to realize today that not only have we been married for eight years, but it has been five years since just the two of us went away together. You know what? That's a really long time.

I've always had a nursling, and I think that has been the main thing that has kept us from getting away. But right now I'm not nursing a little one (yet!). And in a very short while, we'll have a new little one who will certainly need a great deal of time and attention and it will probably be a while before we can get away again. (Hopefully not another five years!)

Now seemed like the perfect time to take the plunge and go away.

There was only one problem.

We had no money.

As I mentioned in my post about our staycation, things have been especially tight around here lately. And there was absolutely no way we could squeeze out money to spend on a getaway.

Here's my Frugal Friday tip for today:

If there is something you need, or even something your heart greatly desires, ask your Heavenly Father about it.

No, He doesn't guarantee that He will give us all our heart desires. After all, we don't give our children everything they long for either, do we? We know that some of the things they ask for would be detrimental to them! But how often do we delight in giving our children special gifts, just because we love them?

Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:7-11

So, I asked. I told my Father that I felt that Keith and I really needed some time to be away alone together to recharge our relationship.

And you know what? He provided.

We have some friends who own a great little cabin out in the woods on a million acres of land. It's actually where Keith proposed to me, where we honeymooned, and where we celebrated our first anniversary. It's a pretty special place for us.

Keith called them up and asked if we might be able to use it again to get away together. And they were delighted for us to use it!

So, tomorrow we will be dropping our sweet little ones off at Nannie and Grandaddy's house (thanks, grandparents!!!), and heading to this special little place.

That cost us nothing.

Because our sweet Father saw fit to delight us with a beautiful gift from His hand. Just because He loves us.

Is there something you're in need of? Ask your Father. He delights in giving good things.

Introducing: Hearts Turned Toward Home

I've shared bits and pieces of my story now and again here on Heart(h) Management. But, you know what? I'm discovering that my story is so often the story of what God is doing in the hearts of so many other women!

I had a brainwave recently. I thought about how great it would be to open up Heart(h) Management to other women who would like to share their story. Their story of how God pointed their heart back toward home.

So, in just about a month I'm going to launch a new series! A series from the hearts of God's women! Are you excited? I know I am!

What about you? Dear friend, sister in Christ, do you have a story of how God moved in your life and heart and led you gently back home? Figuratively or even literally.

Perhaps He did a work in your marriage. Or taught you how to love your children. Or maybe you had a worldly view of the role of a woman, and He graciously taught you His view.

If you are interested in participating, please email me and I will send you guest posting guidelines. May our Lord richly bless each one of you as He continues His work of redemption in our hearts and homes!

Image by spisharam

The Performance Review: It's a REAL Job! Series #10

Image by Paul Worthington

If you've ever been employed in the "real world" you are probably familiar with the performance review process. That dreaded time of year (in my experience it was annual) when you sit down with your boss and get evaluated. Ugh. How completely unpleasant!

Well, I'm here to say that it seems to me that the homemaker could benefit from a periodic performance review. But, unlike other performance reviews, this doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience!

Evaluation is always valuable--and how much more for the woman whose job is so connected to eternity?

You can set goals all day long. You can have a clear job description. You can plan and organize till the cows come home. But if you don't use the tool of evaluation, how will you know if you are ever truly accomplishing what you set out to do in the first place?

Evaluation. It's a good thing.

Here are my ideas for my next performance review:

1. Do one every 6 months.
Yearly seems too infrequently to me when eternity is at stake. Really. I don't say that flippantly. I truly believe that our role, especially as mothers, is of great eternal significance.

2. Have a clear job description already in place.
If you haven't written a clear job description already, there isn't really anything concrete to evaluate, now is there? So, if you haven't done this yet, sit down and write one for yourself.

3. Make your husband part of the performance review.
OK, so this part might be a little bit painful. Or it might be so deeply encouraging, you want to do a performance review again next week! But the two of you are a team, and in my opinion, Scripture makes it pretty clear that he's the head of your home. So, his input should be very valuable to us as homemakers.

4. Using your job description as a your guide, ask yourself and your husband the following questions:

• What am I doing well? What are my strengths? Is there a way my strengths could be utilized even better?
  
• What area(s) might need more attention? What are my weaknesses? How can these be strengthened?
• Is my job description truly adequate to give me direction, or does it need tweaking?
• Is there a tool I could use that would help me significantly in my role?
  
• Is there a new area I have the time, energy and freedom to branch into learning?
• What is one habit that, if developed, would help me most in my role right now?

5. Finally, review appropriate compensation.
What's that? Oh. You don't get paid? So sorry. Wait. Come to think of it, neither do I. At least not in earthly treasure. But I hope I'm building precious metals and stones in eternity. However, I bet you could talk your husband into a special treat--a back rub, some dark chocolate, or dinner for the two of you. Celebrate! Even if your performance review turns up some areas that need attention, that's a good thing. You're being intentional about your role, and that's really something!

I'm pretty sure I have the need of a performance review coming up. Anyone else want to take the plunge with me?

A Peek Inside My Heart--It's a REAL Job! Series #7

Image by @Maco

Today for the It's a REAL Job! Series I'd like to do something a little different. I'd like to invite you to step back in time with me to the point in my life when I was realizing for the first time a little bit of what it really meant to give my all to being a keeper of my home.

The following is a journal entry I made almost exactly a year ago. It's written as a prayer.

Dear Father,

So, You've been teaching me some new things recently. And I feel like I don't even know quite where to begin to synthesize it all. I feel like my eyes are being opened a little bit.

I'm seeing my life as it really is--or at least moreso than I have before. I'm seeing the pride, the sloppiness, the mediocrity, the laziness, the selfishness...and more. There's more? Oh, yes. Unfortunately.

I feel as though I'm beginning to understand that life doesn't have to be this way. Indeed, perhaps it shouldn't be. Perhaps I've been believing a lie--a lie perpetuated by modern day culture and the Father of Lies himself.

The lie: Striving for anything more than the status quo is trying to be "Superwoman".

And, of course, we all know that Superwoman isn't real. But. Why have we elevated character, consistency, follow-through, diligence, faithfulness, and just plain hard work to Superwoman status?

These are all qualities You have called us to--and You don't call us to an imaginary, unrealistic standard.

So, why is it that I've believed for so long that women who do things like rise early, keep an orderly home, are generally well-prepared for routine life, homeschool, love their husbands, seek to grow in the Lord, train and love their children either:

a) Don't truly exist
b) Are not really genuine--in other words, they lie about who they are, so...
c) Again, this woman doesn't really exist

I never said it in so many words to myself, but actions confirm belief more than words. And my actions have confirmed my belief that all I could truly expect in my life as a wife and mother was sloppy mediocrity. And doesn't our society encourage the image of the harried mother? Pulled in fifteen directions at once? Isn't a mother supposed to be under quite a lot of stress and, really, aren't we asking too much of ourselves as mothers--pushing ourselves too hard; stressing too much if we're trying to have an orderly home, for instance?

After all, it's the people in our home who need attention most--not the toilets.

I'm not so sure.

All of a sudden, I'm seeing things in a new way. I see valuable truth mixed in with deception--but, after all--isn't that one of the enemy's most brilliant tools?

Yes! People are most important. Of course they are. But, in fact, I'm seeing now that I can do the people in my home--my husband and children--a great disservice by pretending to focus on them and not the "toilets". ("Toilets" being merely representative of all work that can feel like drudgery.)

First of all, I’m communicating to them that I don’t care enough about them to give them “clean toilets” (remembering that this represents far more than just the toilet).

Secondly, isn’t it better for everyone—but how much more so for little children—to be in an environment that is calm, peaceful, beautiful, and orderly (all things that can result—at least in part—from “clean toilets”)? Don’t I take care of the people in my home best by attending to their need for “clean toilets” as well as their need for, say, affection or mental stimulation?

Third, I’m modeling an attitude, value, or belief in all that I do. My children are learning from everything I do, say, think (because it shows up in my actions), or what I don’t do. Don’t I want to see my children become men of diligence, thoroughness, commitment, and faithfulness in the little things? Don’t I want them to know the value of hard work and to do it with a willing heart? Don’t I want them to stretch their limits and press for excellence in their lives instead of settling for mediocrity?

How in the world do I expect to see these things take hold in their hearts if from their earliest years they have learned, by watching my model, habits of half-way-ness, just-enough-ness, when-I-feel-like-it-ness, and good intentions but no follow-through-ness? I’m fooling myself if I think that what they experience in daily life and observe in me as they are little children has little effect on them. Indeed, the little habits they observe and experience now are soon incorporated into their own young lives and will not be easily culled out later. They won’t hit the magical mark of 25 and find themselves mysteriously transformed into men of excellence as I look on and remark with a contented sigh, “They’re just as I dreamed they would be—it’s all a mother could hope for!” How ridiculous!

I’m tempted to say that this early training in habit does not only have little effect, but that it is, in fact, nearly everything to the development of who they will be as men. This leans, perhaps, too heavily on man’s influence and I don’t want to forget that You, Father, are the utmost influence or ‘variable' if you will on a person’s life. For, certainly, You have raised up godly men of excellence who came out of some of the worst early experiences wherein they must have observed and learned poor habits. But, I daresay, that they are the exception rather than the rule.

Finally, coming back to the thought that the idea of “people over toilets” is a kind of deception, let me say that not only do I believe it to be a deception, but a distraction. Am I focusing so much on my pious “people over toilets” dogma that I don’t realize I’m not even caring for the people in the ways which I have sanctimoniously declared to actually matter (time and attention, for instance)?

Really, the purpose of my "people over toilets" dogma is to allow me to avoid things like hard work, unpleasant tasks, and so on. My focus is on what I don’t want to do with a veneer of “people caring”.

But since my focus is on the avoidance, the people are actually getting overlooked! I’m whiling away my hours (and hours are adding up to my life doing meaningless things. For instance, my face is glued to a computer screen (this is my biggest time waster) while my children are left. . .to themselves.

This is what deception is—it always looks good—attractive and noble even—on the surface. But underneath lies the ugly reality.

No more. No more! God! Help me. Help me to see clearly with the veil of deception lifted. To work heartily as unto You and to do my work with all my might—actually, with all Your power that so mightily works in me. Mediocrity is not what you have called me to. Excellence is.

The Anatomy of a Chief Home Officer--It's a REAL Job! Series #4

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So, perhaps you've noticed. Have you? I mean, have you noticed the fact that it's common for me to mention home management and homemaking in the same sentence? Are you thinking I really need to work on my writing skills, and, for Pete's sake, stop being so redundant?!

Well. I'm here to tell you that, of course, naturally there's a reason I use both of those terms at the same time. Naturally. Because everything I do is thought out and orderly. (Ahem.)

But, really, this time there is indeed a reason for the seeming redundancy.

I see these two terms as being descriptive of the two sides of my role--separate but complementary pieces. Think of the CHO (chief home officer) as having a spine and a heart. The CHO needs each of these to be successful. You can't really have one without the other and each part needs special attention.

Are you following?

Let me explain some more.

When I think of home management, I'm thinking of the spine of the chief home officer.

The home manager is all about making the home a place of order. The home manager is resourceful, enterprising, organized, and prepared. She sets goals. She evaluates. She's in charge of making things run smoothly. She holds things together--hence the anatomy term spine.

The Proverbs 31 woman is our model for home management in Scripture:

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night...When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet...She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come...She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
--From Proverbs 31

When I think of homemaking, I'm thinking of the heart of the chief home officer.

The homemaker is all about making the home a place of beauty. She's the nurturer. The one whose gentleness and care make her family feel secure. She brings creativity to the home. She creates an atmosphere of peace. She knows that she is the one who sets the tone for her home and family. She is the heart of her family.

Here's some examples for the homemaker in Scripture:

Then [the older women] can teach the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
--Titus 2:4,5

He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Praise the LORD!
--Psalm 113:9

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
--Proverbs 21:19

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
--I Peter 3:3,4

We really don't want to be spineless hearts. Our nurture and care is important, but our homes and families need order, too.

And we most definitely don't want to be heartless spines. Ouch. Taskmasters who never smile. No good.

I find that at different times, a particular piece of my anatomy becomes unhealthy and needs attention. Sometimes the order falls apart. And sometimes the beauty and grace need a comeback.

Today, evaluate which of these needs a little attention. Your heart or your spine. Ask the Lord to help you honor him with each piece of your chief home officer anatomy!

What Does Discipleship for Children Look Like?

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This week over at We Are That Family, it's backwards Works for Me Wednesday.

That means that instead of posting a useful tip to share, you present a problem that you need help with.

Now, why don't we do that every week?

I've got a whole lot more things that I need help figuring out than I have useful tips to share.

Actually, I love WFMW. So, perhaps everyone else could just continue to post their useful tips, and they could make an exception for me, who would always ask for help. Doesn't that sound like a plan?

I'd really like to know how to get the sticky spot off my sink where a label got stuck. How to exercise regularly in pregnancy when your sciatic nerve keeps acting up. How to kick eating sugar to the curb for good. How to get the darn wallpaper off my hallway walls. (It's so, so stuck on there. Sigh.) How to balance a spoon on my nose--I can roll my tongue, but this skill eludes me.

But there's a biggie that I've been struggling with lately. So, I'm pulling out the big guns. I'm laying it all out on the table with hopes that some of my regular readers or those who visit from WFMW can give me a little insight.

What in the world does it look like, practically speaking, to disciple a small child?

Note, I didn't say "discipline". I'm talking about the process of sharing the Gospel--teaching and training a child in the way he should go.

Those of you who have been reading regularly know that I'm a Christian. I see my main purpose in life as serving and loving the One who saved me, and my second to love, nurture and live the Gospel out to my family.

I get that I'm supposed to be teaching God's Word to my children. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9) I understand that I'm supposed to love my children--affection, kindness, gentleness, consistency. (Titus 2:4) I know that I'm responsible (along with my husband, Keith) to build character, habits and truth into these little ones.

What I don't really understand is exactly what that is supposed to look like in the day to day.

What sorts of things am I supposed to be doing specifically, to pursue these goals? They aren't going to happen by accident and I have a distinct feeling that each day needs to have more focus on the end goal we have in mind.

I'd love, love, love to have this be a back and forth discussion. If you'd like to subscribe to the comments, that would be so fabulous! That way, if someone has a further question (me!), we can carry on like a conversation.

If you're seeking to honor the Lord by discipling your children, I would deeply appreciate any help and insight you might have on the topic.

I'm a wreck, or "God's Grace for the Home Manager"

Image by aussiegall

Either title will work, really.

Yes, both are appropriate titles for this post, although the latter has the added benefit of sounding more dignified. The first is just so, uh, true. As I was contemplating starting this blog a few weeks ago, I felt excitement growing inside me. God had been teaching me so much about the beauty and value of seeking to honor Him by managing my home well, and I deeply wanted to share with others what He had been so graciously teaching me.

Then I hit One of Those Days. These Sorts of Days actually happen to me quite frequently. The days when my selfishness, laziness, procrastination or all of the above make my home into a place of chaos and frustration for me and every member of my family.

In the midst of the chaos, I wondered to myself, "Who do I think I am? Who am I to even think about writing a blog to encourage women as they seek to improve their home management to the glory of God. I'm such a wreck!" And I very nearly threw in the towel on my "foolish" and self-important idea right then and there.

However, it was as though I could hear the Lord whispering to me, "Dear One, isn't that sort of the point?"

Indeed.

Indeed, I am a wreck. Make no mistake about it. I am not by nature an organized person. I tend to be self-focused and lazy. I have several bad habits including procrastination and what I call "half-way-ness" (doing things only half-way) . These are the flaws that show themselves most in the area of managing my home, but there are many, many other sins and faults that I manifest in my life which hurt my husband and children frequently.

That quiet whisper from my Lord who redeemed me was a gentle, sweet reminder that it isn't about me. It's about what He can do through me when I am willing to humble my heart, sit at His feet, learn from Him, and obey Him. It's all about Him.

This blog is not being written by someone who is perfect, accomplished, or even leading by example necessarily. I am growing and learning and trying and desiring to serve Him with my whole heart, but I have so, so far to go.

Rather, this blog is a call to look to the Lord of Heaven. The One who made us and knows us by name. The One who redeems our time, our talents, our skills, our homes, our families. I'm so thankful now that I had that horrible day just as I was planning to begin this blog. I really needed to remember to never present myself as some sort of expert, and I think the Lord wanted me to remember that any success I see in my work is because of Him.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

II Corinthians 12:9-10

"Be intentional, Bree-AWHN-uh": Living Life On Purpose

Image by gemsling

When I was in college, I had a professor who endeared himself to me by his dedication to his students, his conversational style of teaching, and, of course, his northern accent that was just northern enough to be endearing and not grating. (Sorry to those of you who have a grating northern accent—just kidding.)

Although I tried correcting him, my name always fell off of his lips sounding like Bree-AWHN-uh instead of Bree-ANN-uh. After a while, I gave up and learned to like the way he said my name. It sort of went into the box of "Quirks About Dr. Howard That Make Him Endearing".

In my classes with Dr. Howard, there were a few themes that were often repeated. One of those themes that I remember so clearly is "Be intentional".

Dr. Howard and I had a discussion once about what I thought I'd like to do with the education I was receiving (a B.A. in Christian Education: Family Ministries). I expressed my desire to have a family and focus on raising my children and being a helper to my husband Keith, who was planning to enter youth ministry. Dr. Howard, with chin in hand in his characteristic way, replied, "Whatever you do, Bree-AWHN-uh, be intentional about it."

His comment disturbed me at the time because, in short, I had no idea what he meant! I wondered if he was hiding some sort of disapproval of my choice for home and motherhood. Looking back now, I think that he simply meant, well, exactly what he said.

It is easy to float through life without purpose or direction no matter what path you choose. But I've realized after being a wife, homemaker and mother for a few years now, that it is exceptionally easy to lack a sense of purpose, direction or intentionality when you're in the midst of the mundane and seemingly meaningless tasks that come with homemaking and mothering. Things like washing dishes, folding laundry, changing diapers--these tasks can feel like they all run into each other in a stream of one meaningless task unrelated to the next.

Be intentional. I've realized that when you step back and look at the role of being a wife, mother and homemaker from a wider lens, those mundane tasks do have meaning. In fact, I'd argue that being intentional—doing things with a sense of purpose—is even more important as a homemaker than perhaps any other vocation. After all, the truth is that our job has serious eternal value. We're talking about the hearts of our husbands and children. We're investing in hearts that will last forever. Now that's something to do on purpose.